I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
