Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So vagazzling was a success
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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