When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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