Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
