I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
