Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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