Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
