I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
