Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
