can u get pink eye on your cock?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
