I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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