after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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