Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
