do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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