These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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