I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
