if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
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