I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize