so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
