Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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