They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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