Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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