ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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