im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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