so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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