census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
