i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Enjoy the penises
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize