the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Less talking, more tequila
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
