Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i think im in europe. pls send help
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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