I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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