Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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