I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
