We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
