As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
