He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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