On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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