i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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