she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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