question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
