you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
