She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
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I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
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Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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