He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
