More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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