I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
