I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
