Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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