No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
