im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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