Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
