haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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