i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
