Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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