I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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