would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
