I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
