Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
