How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
