i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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