Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
time to smoke my breakfast
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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