Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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