Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
