I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
