Ambien. No doubt about it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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