I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
